Sometimes separation comes at you fast. Sometimes you are not afforded the time it takes to prepare yourself and your children for another home. Getting a divorce and securing a new home is a financial burden. It can also be a hard transition for your children. Some parents opt for a nesting solution to help ease into life post-separation.
Nesting, whether voluntarily agreed to or Court ordered, essentially gives the children “custody” of the home. Please note, children do not actually get legal custody of the home. This arrangement simply al¬¬¬lows the children to stay in the house and the parents rotate in and out depending on when they have custodial time with the children. Nesting allows the children and their belongings to stay put. They are not being shuffled back and forth between homes and they can remain where they are comfortable during a difficult time. This keeps their routine of daily life consistent until they become adjusted to their new life with divorced parents.
Getting to a place of stability after a divorce takes times. Nesting also allows parents time to find permanent housing. Usually during the nesting phase, parents get a temporary apartment. This is where they will stay when it is not their time to be in the home with the children. This can be one apartment shared by the parents or two separate residences, whatever is right for your family.
While nesting can be a great temporary solution, please understand it often does not work out to be a permanent fix. Children will eventually need to adjust to their life with divorced parents, which includes living in two different homes. Most often this arrangement works while the parents work to sell the marital residence. This arrangement can present difficulty, especially when one spouse is ready to move on and create their new life, since nesting forces spouses to still “share space.” This feeling can potentially lead to additional conflict about the use of the home. You and your spouse need to be on the same page, with mutual respect for each other’s time in the home, for a nesting agreement to work.
If a separation from your spouse is in your future and you’d like to talk with someone to see if a nesting arrangement could work for your family, please call our office today.