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When it comes to dating after divorce, everyone has a different timeline. The only real “rule” is to wait until your divorce is finalized before you start seeing someone new. This is especially important in North Carolina, as dating someone while you are still married could lead to an alienation of affection lawsuit.
After You Deal With Your Feelings
According to therapists who spoke to Good Housekeeping, the best time to start dating after a divorce is after you feel like you have healed. You may want to see a therapist before downloading Tinder and make sure you are dating for the right reasons. For example, relationship experts do not recommend dating to avoid painful feelings like hurt, anger, or loneliness.
You need to be ready for vulnerability and remember that dating comes with both positive and negative emotions.
When You’re Ready To Be Honest
If you’re not ready to accept the reasons why your previous relationship didn’t work out, or you find yourself keeping your divorce or your kids a secret from potential matches, you’re not ready for a new relationship.
Dating in a healthy way and finding a new life partner requires honesty, so coming to terms with and telling the truth about your past is exceptionally important.
When You Know What You’re Looking For
Before you put yourself back on the market, you should know what you’re looking for in a new partner. Think about the values you want to share, behaviors that might be dealbreakers, and where you want your next relationship to go. If you don’t want to get married again or share a home with someone, that’s okay, but the people you date if you’re just looking for company will be different from the people you date if you’re looking for someone who can help you raise your children.
When You Feel Safe
Never go on a date if you have a bad feeling about it, especially if you meet someone online. If you get a bad feeling in the middle of the date, cut the date short. You should always have an “exit plan” when online dating, and you should let your friends and family know where you are going and who you are going out with — every time.
Be careful of people who seem “too good to be true” or predatory behaviors like “love bombing.” Sometimes, people take advantage of men and women who have gone through a divorce and become controlling, manipulative partners. Both men and women can be victims of abusive relationships.
When Should I Introduce a New Partner to My Kids?
The answer to this question largely depends on the age of your children. If you have young children, make sure you wait 4 to 6 months before introducing a new partner. Teenagers may be ready to meet your girlfriend or boyfriend sooner, but you should answer all the questions they may have beforehand.
Remember, your children may be hurting from the divorce, too, so you shouldn’t be taking people in and out of their lives. As nightmarish as it may be to think about, people you don’t know very well have the potential to harm your children, as well.
Even if your new partner asks to meet your children, it’s okay to make them wait. You want to make sure you know who your partner is and what their intentions are before you bring them home to your family. Don’t introduce someone to your kids unless you expect them to be around for a while.
The Time is Right When You Say It Is
Some people download dating apps before the ink is dry on their divorce papers, and others take decades to get back into the game. As long as you wait until your marriage is officially over to start dating agaom, you can handle things on your own timeline.
The most important part is getting through your divorce, and Rech Law, P.C. can help. Call our experienced, award-winning attorneys to get personalized support throughout the divorce process.
Dial (704) 659-0007 or contact us online to get started today.